If This Was A Movie
by shawn-n-belle
Summary: In the end, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.  /Continuation of 7x10/


If This Was A Movie

**Tagline: **"It's not the kind of ending you wanna see now, I thought I had a happy ending."

**Summary: **In the end, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. |Continuation of 7x10|

**Spoilers: **7x10

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona

**Rated: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

**Author's Note: **I promised my Mags that I would write this for her if 7x10 ended with Arizona coming back and so I followed through on my promise. It is angsty but angsty in a good way, beides, it wouldn't be me if I didn't write something angsty. Aha. I really like this piece because it really focuses on the character of Callie and what she must be feeling when she opens the door to find Arizona there and the events that follow and it really focuses on their relationship and how their love is endless and timeless. I really hope you guys enjoy this because it took a lot of time and effort but it was all worth it in the end.

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"Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would before you say it's not that easy  
Before the fight, before I left you out

But I take it all back now

Come back, come back, come back to me like

You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside 'till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow

But if this was a movie you'd be here by now"

If This Was A Movie- Taylor Swift

__

"Okay, so picture this: I'm in Africa and everything is great and the people are so nice and the clinic is amazing and I'm doing work that actually feels important. Like I can actually see that I am making a difference but I-I'm crying. Like constantly. And this guy that I worked with at the clinic finally asks me what's wrong and I tell him that I miss my girlfriend. Like I really miss her. So he asks me if I want to go back, if they can replace me and then I open my mouth to say no but what comes out weirdly is yes. And so I did. I came back," The gorgeous blond standing in front of you manages to ramble out in a single breath, her body shaking as the tears cloud within her beautiful blue eyes. However, you can not focus on anything that she is saying because you are too caught up in the fact that she is finally physically, mentally and emotionally here. After so many endless nights, after all the nightmares, the hopeless prayers and empty promises, she is here, out of Africa, on your doorstep, looking amazingly beautiful. She came _back._

You can not think of anything except how beautiful she looks standing here now, how her blue eyes still shine with the utmost passion and love. You can only think about how her joyous blond curls are now absent from her artistically framed face, of how they lay in tamed, abnormally straight waves. You can only think how she looks like she has lost weight now, how the dark shadows of sleep deprivation now hangs below her beautiful eyes. You can only think of how she is literally _breaking _in front of you, of how she should never be this hurt, this broken, this distraught.

It does not change anything, however, you sigh. She can't just show up on your doorstep out of nowhere, looking so broken and tired, give another amazing, heart felt speech and expect everything to be okay. Because _nothing_ is okay and nothing will ever be okay again. She left you in an airport terminal that night without so much as a single thought, she stood in front of thousands of people and bickered with you about how you weren't proud of her and how she didn't want to go to Africa with you. She left you for Africa, for a grant, for three years without so much as fighting for you, without asking Teddy if you were okay. She can't take it back, she can't say that she didn't mean it because in your heart you know that she did, she meant _every_ single word of it.

After everything the two of you have been through together; after the deliberate nonsupport from parents, after the insecurity and trust issues, after the break ups and the make ups, after the shooting at the hospital and the final agreement to have kids, after standing up for their love when the rest of the world didn't believe in them, she _left_. She left and drug your heart all around Africa every single day that she was away. You spent so many sleepless nights calling out her name, so many nights trying to forget everything about her at the end of an alcohol bottle, so many times you pulled yourself away from your loving friends and cursed at the silence of the wind. Now she is here, standing in front of you, telling you how miserable, how broken she is without you and you hate it because in your heart, you know it doesn't change a thing.

"You look _really _pretty," She whispers, her voice breaking and it shatters what is left of your fragile heart. You wince, closing your eyes to keep the burning tears that now brim in your eyes from falling as the break down aches through your body with every breath you take. How could she do this? How could she just walk away that night, possibly forever and now show up on your doorstep like nothing ever happened? She left Africa. She left that life changing grant, thousands of children who needed her medical brilliance, she left her dream for you and you wish, oh God how you wish, that you could simply just forgive her but you _can't_. Biting feverishly at your bottom lip, it takes all the strength that you have inside of you to grasp the blue door in your hand, studying her beautiful face as the shadow of the closing door colors her gently. You hear the gasping rattled cry fall from her pursed lips as the clicking of the door echoes through the silence of your apartment and you swear that the shattering of your own heart is the loudest sound that you have ever heard. You hear her, the whimpers, the hushed cries on the other side of the door as you spread your palm out, steadying yourself on the other side, the steaming hot tears cascading down your cheeks.

"Calliope. N-no. P-please. Just... p-please," She is crying and your stomach churns at the sound. You hate it; the way that she sounds when she cries, her voice so pleading and broken. You can literally feel her breaking on the other side of the door as you rest your head against the cool blue metal, a shaky cry falling from your own lips. You want to fix this, you want to fix her, you want to open that door, hold her in your arms and dry the tears from falling down her cheeks but you can't, you just can't and both of you know exactly why.

"I can't... y-you can't do this to us. P-p-please," She is sobbing on the other side of the door and you hear as she rests her head against the cool metal door as well, her palms holding her in place.

"C-Callie. I l-love you. P-please. P-please," She cries for you, for _you._ Choking back the sniffle of a cry, your entire body gives way beneath you as you fall into a crumbled mess onto the floor, crying out her name but you know it doesn't matter. You can't let it matter, you choke out as she continues to cry for you, even if it is the hardest thing that you will ever do in this lifetime. She broke you and you can not forgive her for that.

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It is around midnight when you bring yourself to move from the disheveled mess you have made on your sofa and force yourself to stand, the blood pulsing through your cold veins in a rushing heat. Your head races with thoughts and your heart aches with all those feelings that you have been trying to ignore since she magically showed up on your doorstep hours earlier. There has been silence from the other side of the door for the past few minutes, no sounds of crying or her humming or her pleading voice calling out to you. Silence and only silence. You rub your eyes harshly, the tears soaking your skin and it is a sensation that neither moves you or comes as a surprise to you lately. In fact, you chuckle sickly, you are surprised that you even have tears left inside of you to cry anymore.

You can hear her voice inside of your head in haunting chills that steals your breath and stops your heart. There is a lump in your throat, one that you can never swallow and you know that it is the lump of painful truth, the truth that you wish you could forget about, the truth that keeps you laying awake night after night after night, the truth that reminds you that you are alive. You struggle to breath in desperate heavy breaths but you know that you can't. Not without her.

You rake your nails through your hair as you try to make sense of it; of the way that your heart still aches for her, even after all this time. Shifting your weight, the memory haunts you as you shudder out a cry, one that you had not expected. How could this happen? How could she show up out of nowhere on your doorstep and tell you how miserable she is without you? How could you have truly ruined for Africa? People always leave, they never come back. But she came back. She. Came. Back. She isn't like George or Erica and you hate yourself for ever believing that she could have been. Pacing back and forth, you find the tears clouding your eyes and you wish you could just simply _stop _thinking.

____

___"Oh! Oh! I'm awake. See! I'm.. I'm totally awake! There's... hats and gifts and lingerie!" You ramble nervously as you grab the disregarded party favor from your coffee table, placing it to your lips as you blow but only a strangled, desperate sound comes from the end of it, not the kind that you had hoped for. "Really?" You laugh in embarrassment with a shrug of your shoulders as she studies your face, her blue eyes staring straight through you. You wonder if she sees it, the way that you love her, the way that she has you captured, you wonder if she knows that you hang on to her every word as if they are the last ones that you will ever hear. _

___"I love you," She smiles so sweetly and your heart nearly stops in surprise. _

___"You do?" You ask in shock and she nods her head, the familiar smile playing upon her lips. _

___"I do," She replies in a swift nod and suddenly everything else just manages to fall away, suddenly nothing else seems to matter except for the beautiful woman standing in front of you, the woman who you love and have always loved since the day that you met her. Cliché, well maybe, you sigh, but she is the best thing about you. _

___"I love you too," You sigh happily, tears burning your eyes. _

Your stomach churns in disgust. She is the first. The first person who you were ever willing to give up your family for, the first person that you ever truly fought for to prove to her that you weren't just a newborn. She is the first person to stand up to your father, to show no fear, to not back down. She is the first person to hold you when you cry, the first person to fight for you, fight with you against the world. She is the first person to ever say I love you to you without feeling forced to say it back. She is the first person to ever come back for you, even though she had every reason to stay.

Suddenly, it is not about thinking anymore but it is about doing as you cross your living room floor and roll the silver doorknob in your hand. Instantly you are met by the coolness of the hallway and a stumbling movement catches your attention from the corner of your eye. In a crumbled mess moving upward is Arizona as she forces herself from her crouching position on the floor and onto her feet. Stunned, your lips move but no words escape from you, instead you only study her beautiful familiar face and your heart sinks a little lower in your chest.

"Y-you're still here?" You stutter. You're surprised that she has waited this long, that she hasn't left you again for some place closer than Africa. She stands, brushing the wrinkles from her clothes and your eyes scan her body, every perfect curve, every dimple, every sparkle within her eyes. You miss her, and you hate the way that your body is reminding you of everything that you have blissfully been running from. She is everything to you, how could you ever ignore that?

"I'm not leaving you again, Callie. Never again. I'll wait out here forever until you are ready to hear me because you are worth it. We are worth it. You may think this doesn't matter because I left and as far as you are concerned you never want to hear from me again but it _does_ matter. _We _matter. That never changed because I was away in Africa. You still mean everything to me, you are still the first thing that I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing that I think about before I fall asleep at night. And I still love you, with every beat of my heart," Arizona exclaims and you are amazed that you can even keep yourself held together now. You love her, you are in love with her and you have been lying to yourself for a long time now and you hate it. You hate the way that you keep saying that she is cold, dead and heartless inside, you hate the way that you have hurt her, even though she will never admit it.

"Arizona," You sigh, hanging your head in despair but she shakes her own, taking a step toward you. She is determined for you to hear her, even though you know the words that will come out of her mouth will be the words that break you the most.

"You're angry with me, I know. You have every right to be angry with me. You have every right to hate me and never want to see me again. I mean, I left you in an airport. I stood there and told you that I didn't want to go to Africa with you and you.. you didn't understand. You couldn't understand because I didn't take the time to explain it to you. It was... it was easier for me to be the bad guy and push you away than to let you come with me and make you be miserable every day. I-I loved you enough to let you go, Callie. You didn't love Africa, you didn't want to come. You were only coming because of me, to be with me. You would have hated it there, you would have been unhappy and that would have been all my fault. You would have resented me for it. I couldn't ask you to give up your life, your friends and your family here to move to Africa with me for three years to do something that you didn't want to do. You would have _hated_ it. I didn't want that for you. I wanted you to be happy. Extremely happy. I wanted that smile to light up your face, I wanted your heart to skip a beat in happiness, I wanted you to feel blissful, I wanted you to feel like you were on top of the world and you wouldn't have felt like that in Africa. I let you go because I love you, because I wanted the best for you and I was strong enough to know when that wasn't me," Her voice breaks and you swear you have never felt so small in your life. She loves you, how could you ever question that?

"When I applied for that grant, it was before I ever met you. I could have never imagined that I would.. that we would.. I could have never imagined that moving to Seattle would have been so amazing for me. When the Chief told me that I won the grant, I couldn't.. I couldn't even be happy. Do you know why? Because my dream wasn't going to Africa, it wasn't saving those children. The old Arizona, she would have been ecstatic that Peds was finally getting the recognition we deserve. Except, I'm not the old Arizona anymore. I wasn't happy. I was hurt because I knew what this was going to do to you. My dream wasn't Africa. My dream is you. Is this. Growing up, growing old, getting married, starting a family, raising our children, teaching them to be brave and fearless and strong and have good morals. You're my dream and I know that I haven't exactly been giving you reasons to believe that but it's true. I cried the entire plane ride there and I swear, I don't think I ever had a dry eye the entire time that I was in Africa. Every one tried to overlook it, overlook my sadness because this was awesome and I am awesome at my job but I couldn't be awesome when I was constantly crying over you. He asked me if I was okay and I told him about you, even though homosexuality is against the law in Malawi, I still told him. Because I didn't care if I got arrested or if they killed me for loving you because it was true. My love for you. And you were all that matters and you still are," She exclaims, taking another step toward you and you close your eyes tightly, desperately trying to keep your tears from falling.

"Arizona please," You beg her but she continues.

"You're everything to me and I'm not letting you go again. I am going to fight with you, fight for you, until my last dying breath because I love you. You may not believe that and you may be angry at me but I'm not giving up on you. What we have is amazing and it's once in a lifetime and you're my forever. You are my happily ever after and you know that. You _know_ that. You're the one for me, Calliope Torres. I never should have left, I never should have agreed to take that grant, I know that now. I screwed up. I hurt you and I hurt myself. But I'm here now and I'm going to fight for you because you're the one that I am meant to be with. I am the woman for you, Callie and I'm going to prove it to you. I am so sorry about what happened between us, about leaving you, I am so sorry and I know that you might not be able to forgive me right now but I'm hoping that someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you. I'm_ in_ love with you. I'm not giving up, I'm not going away, not ever again, do you hear me? I love you and that means everything to me," No, you shake your head. No, stop, please, you plead, just stop.

"You and I... we're supposed to be together. Every one knows that. T-Teddy told me that we were being idiots. Teddy Altman. Haha. Who would have thought?" She chuckles with a sniffle, wiping her eyes and you swallow back the cry in your throat. How could this have happened? How could something so right have went so terribly wrong?

"We're supposed to get married. A big wedding where your dad walks you down the isle to me and tells me to take care of his mija. W-we're supposed to go away on our honeymoon, to Spain. I would tell you how beautiful you are, trace the lines of your face under the moonlight and kiss you. We're supposed to have kids. You would have the first one. You would be so beautiful pregnant, and I would be so excited, decorating her little nursery and buying her little pink hats. Addison would deliver her and we would be wrapped around her finger the moment she is born. I would have the second. A little boy. Mark would threaten to teach him everything that he knows but we wouldn't let him. He would look just like you. With those raven curls and those dark eyes. You would ask me for another when he turned three, I wouldn't be able to say no to you. We are supposed be a happy family. Two boys and a little girl with their dogs and fishes. Growing up and growing old together. Testing each others patience and just.. being happy. I-I'm not letting anything stand in the way of that. I'm not leaving. Never again. I'm going to fight for you. Fight for us. And nothing is going to change how I feel. I love you, Callie," She exclaims.

"IsleptwithMark," it comes out in a jumbled mess of words and she stops dead in her tracks, her blue eyes flickering to meet yours and that is when you see it, something has broke inside of her.

"Y-y-you w-what?" She stutters in a cry and you wince, closing your eyes as you hang your head in shame. A whimpering cry of your own escapes from your lips as you rub your face with your hands, listening to the sound of your own heart breaking inside of you.

"I slept with Mark," You mumble, daring not to make eye contact with her. This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, you sigh inwardly to yourself, but after everything the two of you have been through together, she deserves to know. Sometimes, in the end, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, you just wish this wasn't the right thing , "I have been for the past couple of weeks. You've been gone and I just.."

"And that's a reason for you to hop in bed with him?" She exclaims loudly and your head snaps up to see the burning tears that are cascading down her cheeks, her mouth gawking open in complete shock and surprise and you hate what you have done to her, how you have hurt her so badly.

"No! No. It's not and I just.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," You reply but you know it does not matter. She says nothing for a moment, instead she studies your face before she lets out a sigh. She reaches down, grabbing her things, throwing them over her shoulder as she shakes her head.

"I'm _such _an idiot," She mumbles under her breath and you know you are not meant to hear it.

"Arizona," Her name falls from your lips in a hushed whisper but it is not enough to stop her. Instead, she only stares at you as if she is contemplating something before she reaches you a small box. You take it in your hands, your skin briefly meeting hers and both of you shiver at the touch. She closes her eyes for a moment, taking in the moment of her skin against yours and you breathe her in, the moment, her scent, her love.

"Merry Christmas, Calliope," She whispers, her glistening eyes staring into yours. It is over in a second, however, when she pulls away in a sniffle, hitting the elevator button and the doors open.

"I thought you said that you would never leave me again," You were not aware of how bitter you truly are until the words fall from your lips against your will. You're making an ass of yourself, this you are aware but you would do anything to make her stay at this point. She stops briefly, turning to face you and you can see it. The hurt, the broken heart, the damage that you have done. You have broken her the same way that she broke you.

"Yeah, and I thought you said that you and Mark were just friends," Arizona snaps back at you, just as bitter, just as hurt as you had been moments earlier. Her icy blue eyes meet your dark auburn as she bites her bottom lip, contemplating saying something else. "I suppose things change, don't they?" You stare at the box in your hands before you swallow your pride and your tears and look up at her.

"I love you, Arizona," You exclaim and it's enough to break her down completely. Her face crumbles, her facade fails her now, the burning tears that had once been a remnant in her eyes now fall freely down her powdered cheeks. She takes a step toward you, almost as if she is willing to forgive you but she stops herself, the same way that you had to stop yourself when you opened the door to find her on the other side. Instead, she closes her eyes with a sniffle, nodding her head as she steps inside of the elevator, turning her head slightly to the side as she smiles sadly at you.

"I love you, Calliope. Because believe it or not, some things will never change," She whispers before the doors close upon her beautiful face, taking her away from you. You stand there, defeated and alone for a moment as you fumble with the present in your hands before you decide to open it. Carefully, you undo the red ribbon upon the box, disregarding it onto the floor as you remove the top of the box. Sparkly tissue paper, you smile inwardly, why are you not surprised? You unwrap the gift to find a silver heart necklace staring up at you with her name engraved on the front and a familiar date, the night of Joe's, the night that she kissed you. There is a piece of paper below it, you remove it with a sigh as your shaking hands unfold it and you find familiar handwriting staring up at you.

_It is yours. It has always been yours, since the first night that I kissed you at Joe's, even when I was away in Africa, it always belonged to you. I loved you before I knew who you were, Calliope. You have stolen my heart. It is yours, it has always been yours and it will always be yours. You are my heart. Always and forever. I love you. _

She loves you. How could you ever believe that to not be true? If this was a movie, you would run after her, stand outside of her window in the pouring rain, professing your undying love for her and she would come outside and kiss you passionately in the pouring rain. If this was a movie, she would come back to you, forgive you for what you have done. If this was a movie, she would be your girl again as the screen fades to black and happy music plays as you ride off into the sunset. Standing here now, tears falling down your face, you hate that this is not a movie because you don't get your happily ever after and you don't get the girl. You hate that this isn't a movie because you would already be chasing after her by now. This is not the kind of ending you want to see and you don't know if you will ever get it right again.

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**Please review. :)**


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